The Best Advice for Perfectionists

“Perfectionism is self-abuse of the highest order.”

Anne Wilson Schaef

As someone that fights off perfectionist tendencies (yes, that’s a more forgiving way of calling myself a perfectionist), there is one single piece of advice that has helped me more than anything else. The advice itself comes from the author, artist, speaker, and teacher, known as SARK. Her full name is Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy, and I had the pleasure of seeing her speak many moons ago. Her advice is, and I quote, “Do more things badly.”

During SARK’s talk, she would write key phrases on large sticky notes and plaster them around the room. At the end of the talk, she allowed attendees to take them home. If my memory serves me correctly, I believe it was my wife that selected the sticky note with the words “doing more things badly” written on it. That piece of paper has hung in our house ever since and throughout that time its impact continues to build. 

Currently I’m experiencing a midlife awakening (yes, that’s a more forgiving way of saying I’m experiencing a midlife crisis), and the primary outcome of this is realizing how long I’ve wanted to do certain things but simply haven’t. Time has gotten the best of me, along with perfectionism. 

Well, not anymore. I’m awakened. I’m finally doing more things badly. It’s important to understand that “badly” here is supposed to be empowering. For a perfectionist, doing something badly is a terrible sin. But that mindset has negative consequences, as you can imagine. It prevents a person from experiencing failure, the true key to success. It also prevents a person from stepping outside of their comfort zone, the true key to growth. It ultimately prevents a person from doing, which is the core of SARK’s advice. 

Do. 

That’s it. That’s the advice broken down to its simplest form.

If you silence that perfectionist voice within you, the one that prevents you from taking risks, then you will do things that you normally wouldn’t do. Hence, you will be doing more things. And since you will be doing more things, you will inevitably also be doing more things badly, because you won’t know how to do some of the things that you are now choosing to do. So, just do. 

I’ll give you an example. I enjoy painting. I would get out my paints every five years and spit out a couple paintings and then let my perfectionist tendencies talk me out of continuing. I’d hit that wall where I was no longer inspired and time would pass and I’d lose steam and I’d convince myself that I don’t have the patience to pursue this and there isn’t a reason to pursue it anyways and so on and so on and… barf. 

My midlife awakening showed me that I’m going to die before I actually paint like a painter. You know, like a painter. Someone who actually paints. More than twice every five years. So, I did what any insane person would do and I took a 30-day challenge to complete a painting every day for 30 straight days. Why not? It seemed perfect (excuse my use of that word). It would force me to do more painting. There it is. Do. 

If you want to paint, then paint. If you want to sing, then sing. If you want to speak another language, then start speaking another language. Just do it! 

Just do it? How could I forget that advice! Well, the popular Nike slogan relates well to this topic, but I’m saving that one for another post. 

For now, we’ll focus on the singular word, do. That’s all you need. Don’t overcomplicate things. Don’t be afraid of mistakes or failure. Don’t make excuses. Don’t let your life get away from you. Just don’t let your perfectionist tendencies stop you from making progress. Progress only comes from doing. 

Go. Do.

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